Ruminations..

A snicker.. do you hear ?

2008-05-15T23:02:00.000-07:00

A usual representation of fear
fanged, diaphanous and sheer;
A sordid and flattering veneer
Necessary weapons of a peer ?

Friday rolls in with the promised beer
a gala celebration of cause unclear;
some try to catch some ear,
some their lips on somebody's rear.

Looking around with the non-effervescent sneer,
at all the peers and the beer;
You wish you were
the object of the cheer!

snicker.

Teaser ...

2008-05-04T22:35:00.000-07:00

I am a little but misunderstood.
This is not a lament, as is usually my wont.
This is a celebration,
of an old fangled realization.
Maybe its good,
that I am a little misunderstood.

Haha, THAT feels good!

Sometimes..

2007-04-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you ask me, why I love you so much.
That is an easy question to answer.
Sometimes, I want to ask you the same question.
I stop.
Maybe I am scared of your answer.

A Note to myself..

2007-04-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

Let these days and hours,
these endless tunes and
this forever;
let them remind me,
IF, I ever forget,
of this pain and this yearning
I feel , for you;
for us.

You and I...

2007-01-21T22:06:00.000-08:00

Its been a while.
There are no more leaves on the trees. The autumn has given way to winter. The spring of your smile is still a few months away.
Wish you were here.

Deja Vu'

2006-11-04T23:07:00.000-08:00

Its Deja Vu'.
Tomorrow will be like before I was here.

Zaijian.

Take a hike

2006-10-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, a couple of friends and I went for a hike. It started with a drive down south to Santa Cruz and then up Highway 1 to the Butano State Park. An awesome place, with groves of Redwoods, steep hiking trails and amazing views of the Pacific.
After reaching the trailhead, we had a very steep climb for half a mile and stopped at the top. The next 5 to 6 miles were through beautiful redwoods.
The hike was measured and very interesting and the smell of fresh pine was invigorating. About 1 mile into the hike we came across a fallen tree. The tree had fallen right across the trail and somebody has neatly sawed it off. the only problem was that the sawing off created a small detour, like they had sawed it off in the wrong spot, not in the line of the trail, but just outside it. IT irked me a little bit. It irked me a little bit, but I forgot about it for a few minuted until we hit another and the same thing happened and another and another. It started to form in my head as a big question mark, getting bigger with each sawed off tree on the path. Then it started pissing me off. I asked my friends. None of us had a reasonable answer to the question and that really got my goat.
The situation deteriorated as we got to around the 4 mile mark. Now people had just sawed off the tree, but no bothered to push them apart. So there was just a crack in it and then the worst of it was that somebody had just made a nice "U" cut into the massive tree trunk and left it there.
If I had any hair on my head, I would have torn it all off!!!!
I am still bothered by it, as you can see. Please, please somebody answer me. Please ?

An Iyer walks into a bar..

2006-09-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

An Iyer walks into a bar and starts drinking. Several shots of Tequila later, he gets up and walks out of the bar, an Iyengar.
Coz, you know, the Iy(High)er you go, the Iyengar you become.

End of an era ...

2006-09-03T20:53:00.000-07:00

I watched Andre Agassi , one of the greatest players to have played the sport of tennis, play his last match live. When it was over , or to paraphrase Roddick, "when Bambi was shot", he sat there and cried like a baby, and there were a few people in the stadium crying with him.
I dont know why, but I did too.
I was completely moved by what moved him, what drove him and what made him.

Sigh. I guess, life goes on.

Farewell, and thanks for all the fish, Andre.
You were magnificient.

Still dreaming..

2006-08-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

A very busy job,
a happy go lucky non-cribbing mood ... and an utter lack of things to say .

So I shall continue to dream ...
Good day!

I dream, therefore I will be.

2006-07-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

Is that Descartes spinning in his grave ? Well, my world is different is all I have to say to him.

A world that is filled with hope, fear, happiness and suffering in equal measure.
Mr Descartes, your world was swarming with existentialists, and a need to mathematically and philosophically define the reason for us and our existence. Therefore you did and I thank you for it.
This world of mine, needs something more, something more than just thought, to be the raison de 'etre. This world of mine, needs a healthy dose of imagination and dare I say it.. DREAMS!

History, ironically, is a testimony to the fact that dreams have been one of the greatest contributors to Man's progress, through this quagmire called existence. Be it the one that triggered Brittania's world naval domination through a old man's idyllic relaxing dream in a bathtub, or the one that triggered space travel and a gazillion other things under an apple tree, or the one in which there were 6 snakes with their head tied to each other's tails that is responsible for a whole generation of organic chemistry; dreams have been at the forefront of inventions and discoveries about us, the world around us and definitely the world beyond us.
History mostly teaches what not to do, but one thing it has taught us to do is to dream.

So lets dream. Dream that it will be a better place for us to live. Dream that we will all have better lives, without fear and destruction. Dream hard, because, dreams do come true.

I dream, therefore I will be ...fine.

P.S:
In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to tell you about a dream that I had last night. I was trying hard to dream of a better life for all of humanity and this is what my better life looks like.
I dreamt that I was a mad dog with black striped fur, tongue hanging out, wearing big huge gucci sunglasses and sitting on an orange amoeba chair in a white room.
Go figure.
Being the eternal optimist, I am sure there are some out there who dreamt that they were an orange amoeba chair.
My fellow denizens of this weird world, to dream or not to dream, thus, is the question.

And ...put up with this ramble too .. will ya ?

2006-06-27T23:31:00.000-07:00

And she is buying
the Stairway ...
to..
Heavvvv ennnn...

A year flies by so quick.
New jobs, moving apartments, new couch :)
and a whole bunch of changes in the living quarters .
New friends, lots of indulgence to the point of chiding myself for a lack of discipline...
hmmm why am I afraid of showing that I am a little bit disciplined.

Best joke I heard all year ?

Circumcisions done here. Half off!!
As I ramble further .. I say these ..

Every end has a beginning,
every sunset a dawn,
every cloud a lining and
every tear a smile.

and and and ..
A very very very Happy one year of knowing YOU.

A New Dawn, A new Day..

2006-06-13T22:29:00.000-07:00

I saw "The Motorcycle diaries" a few days ago and there was this letter that "Che" was writing back to his mother. He explains that every step he takes seems to be cutting time into two. The past that is tough to let go and the future that seems so inviting, cut by the present.

That is exactly where I am. Tomorrow, I go to a new job, meet new people and life goes on. The old job is gone, the great friends I made are gonna be with me for a long long time, and the possibilities are endless.

It is time to take life by the horns. I am feeling good.
Wish me luck.

Breathe ... to die ?

2006-05-10T22:51:00.000-07:00

Ever read the tea leaves ? I mean, the Lipton tea bags - the claims on them boxes. Proven claims about the effect of antioxidants and how drinking tea , which is high in antioxidants, which results in delaying the effects of old age : in effect reversing the effects of oxygen that we breathe.

Which begs the question : We breathe in Oxygen .. to live ? or to die ?

My foundation...

2006-04-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

A silly horoscope is what is bringing back this semblance of life's logging here.
I felt a little bit cocky. Tell me you didnt feel that.
Today, I realized:
1) That the quality of my life matters the most to me.
2) That I want what I have, more than what I dont.
3) That I need to put down in words; My life.

To strive to be more,
to be happy with who I am..
To want what I need and not
need what I want.
To have a belief and be disciplined
in my endeavor.

I shall.

P.S: Just because, I am writing this from Earthquake country, I dont expect my foundation to shift regularly. OK ?

Things..

2006-04-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

The apartment decor is coming along quite nicely and my friends its gonna be soon enhanced with the introduction of a 37" Plasma TV in the living room!
*waits for applause* Thank you! Thank you!
I am starting to understand that making the apartment comfortable makes you want to come home. Something inherent about it. Somewhere where you can be yourself and I find that the material things in the house currently are adding to it.
Now, Please dont get on your spiritual high horses and talk to me about materialism, its pitfalls and etc.

You know you need to spend it if you are getting money back from the IRS! Thats it! Period!
What you gonna do ? Put it in savings and pay tax on the interest ?? Pffffft. Thats a lot of baloney!
But there are those that do not know what to do with money. They do not understand that they are earning part of the money for themselves, to make their (material) lives better too. After all quality of life involves what you like in your living room too.
I was a part of this brigade, didnt feel the need to buy things for myself. Everything was always too expensive and the only thought before buying stuff was, if I can live without it.

If you can buy it, you can live without it; but living with it ? Aaaaaaaah.
Thats the sound of me sinking into my plush couch and stretching my legs on the coffee table and switching on my Plasma.
Take that, my old self-righteous ass!

Omnipresence

2006-04-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

.. Or Ubiquitous.
Now, I would rather use "Omnipresent" to describe the IRS. Boy, has it got long tentacles. You can erase your files and hide from civilization for all its worth. But, if you have received any money from anywhere in any form, you are known. Actually, I just think that you need to be born to come under the tax bracket.
A gentler discussion along similar lines, with a friend, about Brahman, NirGuna and SarGuna and how advaita and Vishistadvaita differ in this aspect led me to conclude this:

If you are an advaitin, you get along pretty well with the IRS, else, you better believe in "God".

Period.

Its tax time everybody! Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Yogi at work.

2006-03-25T15:18:00.000-08:00

You can get the lowdown on Yoga by googling it.
Anyways, I digress.
I am the designated Yogi in my company. Well, there is one another guy, but he is a nut, and nuts dont classify as Yogis, coz, you never know when they are really standing on their heads. Right ?
I have been going to Yoga every week ( almost ) for the past 2 years and getting a lot of stick and pretzels about it at work.
The guys at work conjure up asana names ..
A few samples...
Suckitup Asana -- Thats when the boss, who knows that you have shitloads of work to do, dumps another boatload of shitwork on you plate.
Shavasana -- The most activity that we can do after a fairly large meal of Chicken Biryani!
BadAssana -- That asan you do when you are trying to bitch slap somebody into doing your work for you.
FukitolAsana -- The ultimate goal of every Yogi.

And my favorite:
KissmyownAssana -- Well , get it ?

Magic..

2006-03-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

Blue skies and white clouds,
inside, light a beautiful day in the heart.
Operatic sounds wafting, with
the oars that are a splashing
and gentle laughter rolling --
our eyes never part.
Rouge cheeks, the venetian wine,
the lips and my fluttering heart,
magic on the mind and a wish
to never part.
Moments like these,
magical and too far apart
The ache , my dear, so clear
to behold you so near,
to imprint you deep in my heart.

New town, New identity ?

2006-02-17T09:57:00.000-08:00

The freedom fries, the "Roses of Mohammed" pastries, the claim by the british that curry is their invention .

My country dont like your country, so we gonna just change the names that refer to yours. That will make all the history go away! yeah!

Happy Valentine's Day...

2006-02-12T22:29:00.000-08:00

You.
Your smile, your beautiful hair, your laugh.
Your sunny attitude in the face of adversity!
I love the way you think.. about yourself, the world and me.
I love the way you say what you think. I envy you for it.
I love the way you look at me.

I love the way, you lower the bow and deliver the blow.

I love the way, when I am at a loss for words.
I love myself when I am around you.
I thank you, dearest.
I.

Back ..

2006-02-01T23:26:00.000-08:00

I am back..
Not really in any mood to write down. Lots of thoughts floating around. Nothing that I really want to put down.

India is still the same old. A lot of fight to get the simple day to day things done.
A lot of help from people when there is help needed.
There is change in the air. But its slow.
The good news is the change seems to be for the better.

Everybody in the family is doing good, as they should be, and all's well.

So its back to the grind!

On another note, I need to keep my spirit intake in check.
Mr. Doctor wasnt too happy and neither was I. Bah!

Weapons of Destruction ?

2006-01-02T03:58:00.000-08:00

The edges of the walls look that much sharper,
the pieces of wood on the beautiful furniture are that much more of a weapon,
the plates that you eat from daily, those beautiful china dishes are accidents waiting to happen,
the entertainment center is a mass of wires from where people could trip and fall and seriously injure themselves,
and your comfortable foam pillow is something that could smother somebody to suffocation,
if there is a 1 year old running helter skelter all around the house, especially looking very vulnerable after a smooth tonsured head and sleepy and restless and upto silent mischief!!

Lactaid-Milky Way -- anyone ?

2005-12-30T22:52:00.000-08:00

It is at precisely this instance that I realize, I am an alien from a galaxy far far away.
No seriously!
Isnt this Galaxy called the Milky way ?
Gawd! and given my lactose intolerance, it is very clear that this is a galaxy, that I am just visiting.
Chennai so far seems to be the center of this weird galaxy. Atleast I was in the land of lactaid milk and honey a couple of days back.
Everybody and their aunt ( I mean literally ) is thrusting something with milk into my fragile stomach. Pleaaasse , save me!
I have the guide to the galaxy, and I promise not to hitch hike again.
With udder humility, I beg to be forgiven for my past sin against aunts and other cows.

:)

2005-12-24T16:59:00.000-08:00

She: "Do you have two Pennies, Sir ?"
Me: "I only have one. Will that do ?"

I am very naughty aint I ? Hehehe.

Jolly

2005-12-23T13:50:00.000-08:00

Jolly good times wot ?
It is the season to be jolly..fa la la la.
etcetra! ( please rhyme it with the prev line , Thank you and do add a ztpppfttz at the end of it! )

I will be in India for 3 weeks, starting the end of this year. Nice family get-together is planned.
Those who want to meet, please do send me an email or write something in the space.

Wishing you all a very Happy New year!!!! and a very merry Christmas for those who celebrate christmas!
The season is awesome.. the city is so lit up, its unbelievable. So much of positivity and hustle-bustle. Its nice.

Ta ta!

Hissssssssssssssssss.

2005-12-01T11:21:00.000-08:00

If the world around me is like the clothes I wear, then my dear, you are my skin.
So why do you now want me to be a snake ?

Entropy...

2005-11-27T23:03:00.000-08:00

Travelling by bus .. bus driver falls asleep.. 2 people die. There were people who made the choice to put their lives in somebody else's hands, and they didnt even think twice about it.
Driving by yourself is no better. You put your life in the hands of the other drivers on the freeway, some sleepy and some drunk.
And then there are people who make choices, but still need an army of doctors to help them through.
Bah! This whole world is interconnected, and I know somewhere out there are people who want me and need me. Thanks.

The red rose stands tall,
bloodied by the pricking thorns.
Fear and anxiety,
covered with pretty smiles,
delectable laughter.
Blooming pains ?

The proof is in the petals.

Funny. Weird. She would understand.
As I do. Perfectly.

This weekend, the perfect example of so near, yet so far. In time and in space.
Fuck the continuum. The mobius strip is just a thong.

You dont like me and what I do ? Do I ?
Does the flower like the thorns and the bloom ? Do you ?
Someday the dust will settle. I cant see very clearly now.
We will see.

Nude newsreaders , make the news better ?
Funny!

Actions ? Words ?

2005-11-22T15:07:00.000-08:00

At 4 AM this morning, I was thinking about the statement "Actions speak louder than words" and how relevant or irrelevant it is.
I have been brought up to believe that understatements and letting the actions speak and keeping the words to a minimum are virtues and marketing and selling oneself and one's abilities are downright crass. The idea was that, if you have an ability, it will shine through irrespective of the circumstances. This in turn pigeon-holed a lot of people and put a mental-block on the ability to express oneself in the ways that they desired.
Of course, there were accepted norms for self-expression in the form of writing, music and dance and that was largely restricted to the Indian classical forms. There are a few that shine through in that, love that and hence express themselves.
What about people who do not feel that these are not the right ways to express oneself ?
How much of this actions-speak-louder-than-words is relevant in today's age, in relationships, between partners ? Life has become, hectic and fast paced and people all around are contented to take words and actions at face value.
There is less and less time in this society for an average person to stop and smell the roses.
Dont you break out into a smile when somebody compliments you ? Dont you, women, feel a glow and a blush and a smile come on, when a stranger or a loved one tells you how gorgeous you look today ? Dont you, men, feel proud and happy ( a little bit excited, even) when that woman in the elevator compliments you on your choice of the tie on the way to work ?
What makes us accept compliments silently ?
Yes, actions are necessary and thats what cements a relationship. Words, play an equally important part in polishing the surface, giving it that sheen and glow that brings out the smiles and the satisfaction and contentment.
Actions & words , I say!

My world is changing..

2005-11-17T07:04:00.000-08:00

Hence the busy-ness! Sorry for the unusual delay in updates.
Gotta take care of the bidnedz right now!
I will be back... after this break.
Ciao

corkscrew

2005-11-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

skydiving ..corkscrew..
without a parachute.

Power of Knowledge

2005-11-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

Of all the momentous happenings in India over the past half a century, I think the passage of the Freedom to Information Act, by the current government is really significant. This is going to go a long long way in the way we perceive the functions of the government and the way the citizens of India are going to elect their representatives.
I have been a skeptic of this government and believed that the PM was a puppet only. I am so glad to be proved wrong.
This first step towards accountability by the government should go a long way in routing out corruption from our society. No, I am not expecting miracles overnite, but the reports that I see of the first few people using this law to access information is encouraging.
In my opinion, India is sitting at the threshold of a revolution, where people will be actually happy to pay for the services rendered and where people are not going to accept and tolerate that trains,buses and planes can run late. It is such a belief that will rid us of the "Indian Crab" mentality.
I would like to encourage national newspapers to actually devote a section, for reporting news, that have been a direct result of the Freedom to Information Act. They could even have a set of investigative reporters, that can probe and question the government agencies on their wheelings and dealings. What this does, is to increase awareness of the actual method of functioning of the goverment, the reason for its policy decisions and an ever increasing public awareness.
An informed public is an empowered public. An informed public is an involved public.
Everybody has a hand in the direction that the country is being steered.
I pray that the citizens of India, the media and the Non-Govermental agencies will rise to this challenge.
Dr. Manmohan Singh has done it again. His first achievement was the economic revolution and now its the "Accountability" revolution. Kudos to him and his team.
It is now upto the citizens of India to make the next move.
There is light now. We need to see it!

You and I -- Act II

2005-10-30T18:38:00.000-08:00

Happiness.
No act.

Boston

2005-10-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

No tea party this one. Cold and rainy was the trip.
But I am feeling refreshed, and thats all that matters.
A weekend away from the humdrum of existential existence.
The travel was fun, on the way back.
We hit the outer reaches of "Wilma", the plane rocking like a bullock cart. The oldish couple sitting next to me, with a couple of Tequila shots in them, roaring and going "Wheeeee". I joined in the fun and together we rocked the plane some more, much to the chagrin of co-passengers who were chewing their food once again.
I guess they liked my company a lot more, since we met up again in Washington and they bought me a drink. Party animals on their way to vacation in sunny California, living it up.
Hell yeah! I wanna be like that at 50.

Chicken or Egg ?

2005-10-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have attacked this problem from a philosophical and a biological level. I think the story is very simple.
So here goes...
A dodo was walking along in the desert, when he saw an ostrich in all its glory chest out and ass high in the air. Dodo being the dodo, raped the ostrich bitch and fertilized its eggs.
Think about it, its got the characteristics of both of them.
It is clearly as dumb as a dodo. Come on, dont tell me that you guys havent heard enough dumb "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes.
The ostrich being a little bit more complicated but as dumb as the dodo, the connection to it has not yet been clearly established. But hey, I had ostrich meat the last time and it tasted just like chicken!! I am convinced.

So the chicken did come from the egg, but it was an ostrich's egg, fertilized by a dodo.

Ever tried asking the ostrich about the story ? Yeah, try that and the response will be a lot of silence, followed by burying of the head in the sand in shame and violent shaking of the rest of the body.
As for the Dodo, it couldnt take it anymore, it ran away to the Galapagos Islands where it lived in isolation until it became extinct.

Thats my story and I am sticking to it!

Moment..

2005-10-14T09:54:00.000-07:00

Verily dancing along,
like the setting sun on a lake;
she passes me by,
my heart fluttering in her wake.

I perch myself on the grass by the lake, my fingers roaming through the smooth pebbles, smiling to myself, my thoughts far away. I hear her twinkling laughter receding into the distance like the sound of falling pearls.
The timbre of the voice and the irrepressible joy conveyed by a look askance, her lips quivering in an unquenchable thirst for life.
She stood there in ankle deep cool water flinging a pebble across the surface, her gorgeous body eclipsing the setting sun in all its curvaceous splendor. The tips of her torquoise blue, ruffled, long cotton skirt flitted with the water, as it undulated in happy abandon. Her straight hair gently carressed her naked shoulders and fell across her face and over her lips as she turned and sensed my eyes piercing her back. She smiled and mouthed a silent "Hi", her lips fighting with her hair. I smiled back and suddenly realised that the pebbles I had leaned my elbows on were bruising me and fell back, my head hitting against the green grass with a slight thud.
She laughed, the gentle twinkling laughter flowing like symphonic waves across the water and the concussed feeling in my head, I realised was not because of the fall from all of half a foot.
My eyes stayed firmly focussed on this apparition, as she turned and walked towards me, the water splashing from her smooth feet firing up a million suns with her each step. Her hands swinging gracefully by her hips, a feeling of unbridled joy and the coy smile and giggle as - she passed me by.
I closed my eyes to capture this sight and feeling for all eternity. I opened my eyes a forever of a second later and followed her receding form as she broke into a run and flung herself onto her man.
Her laughter echoed mine.
A momentary lapse of reason on a warm summer evening lulled and snapped by the same laughter. I smiled to myself as I straightened up, looking at the curve of the sun as it started to hide behind the hills, and trudged along towards another dawn.

Eagles have landed.

2005-10-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

Eagles, they landed with a thud.
The show- it was a dud.

The Music was absolutely gorgeous. The crowd was frickin not even into it. I thought it was just our stands, but a cursory look around and there were a few here and there that got up from their seats and were getting into the music.
I am sure they were on Acid.
We got ourselves a designated driver, got comfortably numb before the show, at my place , with a few vodkas.
It was showtime!! or so I thought when I went in there. Even Mr.Clapton, the guy whose music I would rather listen to in my car, was better.
A concert is one where the bands put on a show. Great music and a great show make a great concert.
I tried to enliven the proceedings and get the crowd into it by pouring some beer down the back of the chick in front of us, but to no avail.
This was disappointing to say the least and my friggin hangover and a hundred bucks were, I am not sorry to say, not worth it.

But I am looking forward to go to the Aussie Pink Floyd concert sometime soon.
Thats the sign of hopeless concert addicts. Sigh.

Life...

2005-10-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

A quiet weekend, accelerated to its conclusion by a friend's kind lesson and the epiphany that is carried in its truth.
Thus, another week dawns.

Kirkit ?

2005-10-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

Lotsa hullabulla over the whole Ganguly-Greg chappel episode eh ? As sign that Ganguly had jacked off a bit too much we have the symptomatic tennis elbow thats suddenly cropped up from nowhere.

I think its part of the Ganguly-Chappel-Dalmiya deal that was worked out.
Lets just say Ganguly has a tennis elbow for these games, and you Greg go ahead and work on the rest of the team. Sounds like a plan ? All settled then. Sourav, how many times can you jack off everyday ?? yeah! Double that and get some mild tennis elbow. Yup! Good enuff.

Sourav is ecstatic that he could jack off, Greg is ecstatic that Sourav could jack off and Dalmiya and the people of India are ecstatic that Ganguly is not playing cricket!!

Happiness all around.
Now thats called Kirkit!

On a related note, China is getting into cricket in a big way!
Guess, which team will be the first to lose to China ?? My dear India. And the blame will result in the then captain getting a tennis elbow, by which time it will be called cricket elbow.

Fad lunch..

2005-10-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

So there is this new Indian restaurant opened up nearby called "Flavors".
I passed it one day on the way and wanted to try it out and got a few people to go with me to the restaurant. One day last week, they decided to add a buffet and announced that they are having a "buy one get one free" lunch deal.
Shameless people that we are, it is our true intent to capitalize on this and we are going to the same restaurant over and over.
The height of exploitation happened today when almost all our company was there at one point, save two people who had brought their own lunch.
Not that it was a planned event, everybody came in and we all looked at each other sheepishly.
We promptly put in a request for them to open a buffet at our work place.
The fad's on till the 19th of this month, by which time, I hope to be about 10 lbs heavier. Gah!

Ole'NHBTalk

2005-09-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

Its not about what you have. Its all about what you do with it.

Post-prandial madness.

2005-09-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

A set of converstaions on the drive back from lunch today.

One hot chick in a sports cars with the following bumper sticker:
"Sometimes I am a lady, sometimes I am a bad,bad girl"

Me: Will she shoot me if I walk upto her at the next signal and ask "How about now ?"
K: Depends on whether she is a lady or a bad bad girl.
Me: If she shoots , that would make her a lady.

There was a guy wearing a sweater and big smile standing at the corner as we passed him by in my car.

K: Its not that cold outside, its bright and sunny.
Me: Its not that funny either.
K: Maybe he has muscular spasms.
Me: That explains the sweater ?

a while later ..
Me: I am full of questions today.
K: Yeah, I wanna go home and sleep.

The question.

2005-09-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

Minds raced in whirlwinds, as a portmanteau-esque union of galactic beings surged down the cosmic pipe of sustenance.
Life as he knew it had returned.
A deep sound from within, unsuppressable and eloquent, surged back up the cosmic pipe in answer.
Burrrrrrp!
Hunger aint the answer to the world's problems, its the question.

Note: A story in 53 words.

Ole'NHBtalk

2005-09-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

Everybody wants and needs something from everybody else.

Metaphors .. anyone ?

2005-09-20T18:11:00.000-07:00

I love talking in metaphors. They seem to tickle my mind. I cant wait to get my brains picked, because I think behind every metaphor I dispense, there are quite a few more reasons than the ones that I would care to admit or pay attention to.
I like the feedback that the metaphors give me. I like that point in time when I am sitting smugly and somebody delivers a whammy, something that I had not thought of. Or thought that I had not thought of.
Does it mean that I compare everything ? Does it mean that I have this annoying habit of making a comment when I taste a bit of crocodile meat and say .. "Hey, it tastes like Chicken!" ? No.
Metaphors are incomplete in essence. They need to be in a closed loop for the .. hmm.. chicken to cross the road. I dont use the phrase "It's like" in my metaphors. Its like saying .. whatever. That makes me seem more simple-minded than I really am. A peasant actually, as a tight-assed englishman would say. Thats almost disrespect.
Speaking in metaphors, I believe assumes that the person you are trying to converse with is actually intelligent. That is a good start in my opinion. Its better to start there than at the bottom and working the way up.
So.. what am I trying to say again ? Anyone ?

You!

2005-09-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

I like the adventurous you, the mischievious you, the spirited you, the bundle of energy thats you, the vivacious you, the celebratory you and the shy you.
I like your smile, the glint in your eye, the sweetness in your voice.

I am scared.

You and I .. Act I

2005-09-08T09:55:00.000-07:00

A smile on the face
fingers wrapped around a pen
Listening to sweet heartbeats
pulverized in zen.
Thoughts filtering from
bright neon lights,
and early morning sunlight;
waft of mocha hitting my brain
amid sweet parley's strain.
Sunrays from askance,
light up our lilting dance,
your eyes in mischevious glimmer,
our alchemy on simmer.
Of love's fruits they augur,
the misty morning's swagger
and the insane hearts' flutter.
Your shy lips concur,
to persevere together.

Turning wheels

2005-09-01T14:33:00.000-07:00

Like the wheels of a perpetual machine,
I constantly move.
Like the energy of the universe,
I am constant, yet continuously
changing in form,
mind over matter,
clarity over clutter,
silence over the chatter.

Incensed and Insensitive,
like a snowball rolling,
into my scarring wounds
of memories floating,
my meditation suspended.

I open my eyes,
and I see it melt
by the burning embers
of a care heartfelt.

The monk arises,
dusting off the droplets,
from the naked mind.
Moving on into the nether regions,
of a philosopher's rant
and life's jaunt.

Truth ..

2005-08-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

I want to help, I know I can.
She needs help, I know she does.
Just not mine!

Cliche'

2005-08-29T13:08:00.000-07:00

Ok! Exercise time.
Tell me one cliche thats untrue :)

Life's Irony

2005-08-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

Life's irony is when you get what you did not want the most.
Blooming flowers .. can adorn the Lord or be strewn on the ground to be crushed under bohemian feet.
Did the flower ask to bloom ? Irresponsible plant!
And then there are plants whose flowers bloom once in a decade.
Do they spend an entire decade waiting for it ?
Life!

Weekend update from Jack

2005-08-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

Seeing how there is so much interest in my life, I have started this special segment called weekend updates , a la Saturday Night Live.
Now, if the expectations are two gorgeous chicks trying to get the better of each other and ending up in catfight.. well .. welcome to my fantasy ( and a billion others')!

The weekend started rather early on Friday. Vamoosed from work by around 5:15 and headed to the city for a bash. A nicely blended Margarita warmed me and loosened me up, after a short trudge in the chill of the summer evening in the city. The only observation with respect to the carpark ws that it was right opposite to a police station and perhaps that would prevent me from drinking too much, coz I had to drive back home.
A small laundry packed with people like sardines, mingling, interacting and drinking. Rather noisy but overall a bit slow. Had an interesting conversation with a Aussie woman on the Ashes series. I could see that she was getting a bit worried about the Mighty Aussie team getting pushed into a corner.
A little while later, a few of us decided to hit a lounge and escaped. The lounge was rocking. And my favorite bar-tender was there doling it out. A couple of drinks and some random shake-that-thangs later, we decided to head to the North Beach area and stuff the face with some Pizza and I should say that hit the spot.
Trudged back to the car and had a peaceful ride back home listening to Kishorekumar on the CD player and crashed into the bed at around 3:30 AM. A rather enjoyable evening it turned out to be in the end.
I woke up around noon on Saturday and decided to clean up the apartment and do some cooking in the evening. Made Rasam and Beetroot curry and had it with rice. Mmmm Mmmm tasty! ( if I may say so myself!)
Sunday was pretty lazy too, until my friend called me up and decided to drag me out for some fresh air and jogging at the nearby Rancho San Antonio park. Jogged for almost 4 miles! We took 50 mins but there were a couple of stretches where we got into the zone and boy it was terrific. I think both of us had runner's high.
Went home, took a shower and headed out and bought a couple of CDs and on the way back, got some food. Customary calls to the parents and sister later, a sound sleep ushered in the Monday morning.

Make out of it, what you will!!!
My weekend was good!
Till the next Weekend update, this is Jack!

Weekend woozzle ..

2005-08-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

Friday was spent in the city of San Francisco, the nightlife, rocking and pub hopping.. woohoo! Dancing away into the wee hours of the morning with two chicks at the same time! What a blast!
Saturday was recovery day and followed by an awesome Sunday.
I woke up and saw that a little amount of referral bonus had gone into the bank account and the check book was out in a flash! 2 Ralph Lauren jeans, 3 Perry Ellis shirts and a nice comfy Skechers tan/black suede mocassin was the damage! Yeah! talk about wardrobe overhaul.
My fashion consultant(?) and I then went to an expensive French/Vietnamese restaurant and had some delicious vegetarian food with a bottle of Barolo ( Nebbiolo Grape based 2001 red ) and followed it up with a Davidoff Cigar to end the evening!
The highlight however was the "Coeur de Lion Pomme Prisioniere". This is an apple based brandy and I am told that the bottle is placed on the Bloom and the Apple grows within the bottle, imprisoned! The brandy is prepared by pouring in alcohol and fermenting it when the apple is ripe and the bottle is pulled plucking the apple with it.

A great way to spend a Sunday. Isnt it ? ;-)

Jack is as Jack does.

2005-08-04T23:00:00.000-07:00

Jack is drunk on anonymity,
Jack slinks away silently,
Jack is always beneath the stream,
That's Jack's dream.

Jack wants his dream back,
Jack wants his attitude,
Jack wants his utopia,
Jack walks out the door.

Jack's hands are tied,
Jack's legs in chains,
Jack's brain in a jar,
Jack's heart in a cage.

Jack needs wings!

P.S : Anybody comes up with "Red Bull" or "Buffalo wings" will make Jack a very very baaaad man!

San Jose Grand Prix ..

2005-07-31T15:45:00.000-07:00

My friend V, works at Adobe, and they have a magnificient high rise building right in downtown San Jose. This year, something new happened. San jose got a Grand Prix.

Most of the downtown routes were barricaded and converted into the race track. The roads of the racetrack were repaved and all the manholes were welded shut.
V invited me over to his office this afternoon as there were time trials going on for the Formula cars ( They were not F1. F3, maybe? ). The company had designated public viewing area from the garages, and we got to view a pretty good stretch of the race that contained a long stretch, where the cars accelerated to about 180 to 190 mph and then a Uturn, followed by a stretch where they could accelerate almost upto 150 mph and then a sharp 90 deg turn.

The first sign that the race was starting was the thick smell of burning tyres and smoke rising from behind a building .. and within a few seconds, we saw the first of the cars, making its way down the stretch, accelerating to a 190 miles an hour. Woooohoooo! and the floodgates opened. Wave after wave of cars, hit their accelaration stretch as the first crash occured at the 90deg bend. Not much damage as the red flag was waved and the tow truck pulled the car outta the mass of tires as the yellow racer sped away again.

15 laps or so as the drivers kept getting comfortable on the track as the speed getting faster and faster , the 90 degree turn taken on only two wheels .... exhilarating stuff.

I didnt go to the finals .. the actual race .. but this was exhilarating for me!

On the turning away ..

2005-07-27T23:31:00.000-07:00

Into the distance ..
a ribbon of black
stretched to the point
of no turning back

Darkness stretches across my eyebrows, like dark clouds on the event horizon. Time warping like sand through an hourglass, stretching, squeezing unaware that it needs to do it again .. and again.

you run and you run
to catch up with the sun
but its sinking....
Racing around
to come up behind you
Againnnnn!!!

Pink Floyd, flows through my nerve endings, setting off synapses and discoloring my eventful life. Sonoluminescence, drowning all noises in the brain, yet making itself painfully aware , as sleep washes over me in pre-fabricated waves of consciousness, shedding light and bringing forth, feelings buried deep in the thick murky marshes of the past.

Flight of fancy
over windswept fields
standing alone
my senses reel

The unliving image of my shadow on the wall, so skillfull drawn by unbending light and an unyielding body, senseless and almost forgotten, clinging onto me without a choice. A plain result of my pact with luminescence, a mute spectator, my reminder of existence, my faithful, dogmatic, stupid, Shadow!

Ices forming on the
tips of my veins..
unheeded warnings
I thought, I thought
of everything!

I lie awake, in a senseless, mind numbing chill on this hot summer day, awaiting deliverance and sandman.

Sole Intention,
is learning to fly!
Condition grounded.
Determined to try.

Cant keep my eyes
from the circling skies,
Tongue tied and twisted
Just an earthbound Misfit...
I..

What happened ?

2005-07-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

What happened to all the things that I loved to do just a few months back ?
Badminton, Hiking , Swimming , Blogging , Reading.
I am so in a decadent stupor that its not even funny!
I need to wake up and smell the roses look at the bright sun and trudge along .
The warrior needs an awakening. It is time!

Let it blossom, Let it show!

2005-07-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

The tools that you need
for life, you possess.
Your distress does not,
evoke my sympathy.
My thoughts bounce off
about two feet in front of you,
unheeded and wasted
like mental masturbation.
I tag along, like a filthy handkerchief
which u are unaware of.
your life, more precious than mine,
for you, I wipe your nose.
Indeed, the third wheel,
completely unncessary, wants happiness.
Its time to let go.

Favor for a friend..

2005-07-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

Anybody knows a good Oncologist at Apollo hospitals in India ?
Please let me know if you do.
You can send me an email at skrishna03 at rediffmail dot com

Enuff is Enuff ???

2005-07-15T17:15:00.000-07:00

You know you have been drinking a tad bit much, when the waitress at the bar starts asking you for rent!!!!

Ole'NHBTalk

2005-07-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

Its not about what you can live with, its all about what you cannot live without!

Mazatlan!!! - I

2005-07-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

"All you touch
All you see..
Thats all your life
Will ever be!"
- Pink Floyd ( Breathe )

Mazatlan Mexico.. Laid back, tourist town famous for its "Pacifico" brand of beer, the coconut and Mango groves and of course the beaches and the gentle waves, tropical weather and the lovely, lovely senoras and senoritas.
A week of R&R with a dollops and oodles of all of the above is sure to leave one recharged as it has invariably done.
The airport at the arrival was a small , quaint one. The weather - very tropical which reminds me that the Tropic of Cancer passes right through this town.
I am not in the bent of mind to create a travelogue outta this one, so I am gonna give you a gist of my experiences.
One is struck by the amount of T&A on the streets. The weather is perfect and the women of the country have an attitude to it. Yeah! more power to them. The plethora of Bikinis that greeted me near my hotel was eye-popping. Of course, I rolled in my tongue put on a pair of coolers and maintained an air of nonchalance. Gah!
Arriving at around 4PM at Mazatlan, I took a shower and roamed the streets of "Zona Dorada" . the golden zone which refers to the touristy/resorty area of the town.
Innumerous resorts line the beach and they are ever expanding.
The rambling led me to the ocean front and the azure waters and fine sand that greeted me was tantalising.

The travel advisory recommends wearing a swimming trunk underneath the clothes that you wear, but the weather was such that I could roam about in the beach shorts, getting in an outta the water at random.
Intoxicating as the rush of jumping into the warm ocean waters was, the happy hour margaritas made deliciously lime and lemony and king-sized filled me with happiness from within that the salt waters of the ocean couldnt.
The mexican food was awesome and I staggered back to my hotel room with a smile on my face. This promised to be decadent. Wooooohooooo!
MORE IN MY NEXT!!! WATCH THIS SPACE ....

baccckkkk!!!

2005-07-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

I am back.
And for those who wanna live vicariously, I shall post about my trip to Mazatlan, Mexico .. in a while.
But sun, sand, beaches and sunburn is the general theme. Oh! I forgot to mention the maragaritas and the senoritas :)

Hola!
Beunos dias!

I want to break free!

2005-06-27T10:35:00.000-07:00

I want to.
I want to get away from the mad shit thats going on in my life and thats exactly what I am gonna do.
I am not reachable for the next two weeks.
So enjoy and maybe I will get back to this after that.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

I realized ...

2005-06-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

I want to be a part of Life and I want Life to be a part of me.

Retribution ?

2005-06-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

Wisps of the grave,
a life whose hope depraved,
sneaks up with the foulest smell,
Like the smell of fresh roses in hell.

Hope soars from an open cage,
wings flapping in wild rage,
crashing into a wall of glass,
the world beyond a distant mirage.

Ceaseless venom and banshee's wail,
a force misspent,
oh, what has it fetched you ?
this torrid lament!

When will this end ?
this bitterness, this hatred , this rant;
of a life chosen by one mercurial slant,
with an assumption so asinine.

When it rains.. it pours

2005-06-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

Or when your upstairs neighbor's sprinkler system breaks, it pours. I dont really know how much of this excitement in life I can take.
At around 8 PM yesterday, my friend calls me up and says "Get ur ass home real fast, coz ur apartment is flooded".
So I dropped everything that I was doing at work and rushed back home to see a couple of firetrucks in front of the apartment. The firemen had broken in through the window and there were a few of them in the apartment, spreading tarpaulins over all my stuff ( thank you FD ) and switching off the power to my electrical and electronic items that I was using. The water from upstairs had seeped into the walls by now.
My closet was flooded , the carpet in there was soaking and slowly inching towards my subwoofer and my music system. I aint gonna let no nothing ruin my muzak system! unh unh!
So I called my friend quickly asked him to come over and got down the system and packed it all into my boxes. yeahhh!
Luckily my bedroom was not much affected, so I took all the stuff out of the closet that were still dry and put them all on the bed, put a tarpaulin on it and went to my friend's place to sleep.

I have great friends or what! Yesssssssssssssssss! Thanks K! Than you S! and S!

Free Fall

2005-06-12T23:34:00.000-07:00

Whispering winds,
lashing my face,
the red ball
hanging beneath my gaze.
As I let go and fall
the world far below,
and the rising moon on my left.
I snicker at the small Sierras
the tiny pool of water they call the Pacific.
The exhilarating feeling,
the surrender and the humbling,
the emotion overwhelming,
the excitement fulfilling,
I fall with a smile.

Yesssss, my dears, from 15000 feet, with 120 mph wind lashing my face, I skydived. 65 seconds and 9000 feet of freefall. The canopy opening at 6000 feet with a jerk, I glided slowly to the ground taking 6 minutes for the 6000 feet. The landing perfect as my leg is stretched out in front of me, I slid on the ground to a stop.

Smell of warm excitement in the air
a smile on my face, life's fair.
Letting go, my heart's call,
terminal velocity catching my freefall.

Yippppppppppppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
I still havent recovered. Its been a few hours since this happened and my breath is stil hurried and short, my heart is beating really fast, my facial muscles are in pain with the plastered smile and the whole body is still shaking.
I think I ODed on Adrenaline.

I love this feeling!

ok...

2005-06-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

This is really freaking me out!
I just got the license plates for my car today. Mind you, I had not asked for any special plates or anything.
Guess what the 3 letters in the license are....!!!!!!!!

NHB

Yeah!! I just cant believe it!

Wooohooooooo.

Ready or not ..

2005-06-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

You know you have moved on, when you are ready to make the same mistakes again.

Analyze this.

2005-06-08T08:55:00.000-07:00

A plushly carpeted, sparsely furnished room with a wooden table and a single chair in the middle of it comes into view. I walk upto it slowly and see a Gold embossed, red leather covered book lying on the table nearer to the chair. I sit in the chair, dont even read the cover and open the book.
A passport size black and white photograph of an unknown and unnamed woman on the top left corner looking askance looks back at me. I take my hands off the book and stare at the centre of the otherwise empty page.

Suddenly, a hole forms there. Like nothing was amiss, I calmly open my can of Coke, and pour the contents languidly into that hole all the while looking at the photograph. The Coke keeps disappearing into the hole. Once its all poured in, I calmly get up and turn away from the table.

Then I woke up!

Ole'NHBTalk

2005-06-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

Once we realize that Change is the only constant, we strive to make every moment of our lives better.. but first.. we have to realize.

Chronology of a long weekend.

2005-05-31T18:32:00.000-07:00

Friday: Salsa Dancing followed by shake-that-thing-a-thon till 3 AM!
Saturday: Work.
Sunday: Baseball game at the most picturesque stadium in the country. Scalped tickets for beer money and souveniers.
Monday: Helping a friend move his apartment!

Daddy Works Hard and Parties Hard! Aint nothing wrong with that!

I consume and get consumed!

Slainte! L'Chaim! Cheers! Salud!
Wooooohoooooooo into the night!

Ole'NHBTalk

2005-05-31T00:48:00.000-07:00

Somewhere between what one loves and what one hates, is sanity.

Life..

2005-05-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

Mathematically speaking..
Optimism is when 1 * 0 = 1
Pessimism is when 0+ x = 0

I think I am an optimist. I can make something out of nothing.
So when she says "it's nothing", my mind conjures up all kinds of things.
Isnt making a mountain out of a molehill, optimism ?

Note: The above conjecture is completely arbitrary including the characters that can relate to it.. or as Gwen Stefani put it .. "There aint no Hollaback gal . there aint no hollaback!"

Its not you, Its me....

2005-05-21T15:45:00.000-07:00

If it was me, I could probably change.
What do I do, if its you ?

Island

2005-05-16T13:32:00.000-07:00

A friend was telling me the other day, about how I am intimidating. Apparently, I come across to her as a person, who really doesnt need anybody in his life. An island of an existence so to speak.
And that is intimidating to her.
I think its more in the perception of circumstances and my responses that has provoked such a comment.
As they say there is no smoke without fire and I might just be alone among all my friends.

Teflon coated,
Life's existence.
Touched yet untouched
For a fear, that I cant fly
If my wings get wet.

I havent tried to swim,
for fear that I cannot fly.
How can I judge the fish,
with my eagle's eye ?

Marooned on a life's island,
waved at and waving back.
No magic wand in my hand,
no moon today, my lake
is still black.

Wearily, I lie on the sand
wishing for a little deliverance
the stars that smirk at me,
and this camouflaged existence.

If only I
did not have this moat
I would be king
and just not of my Castle.
If only you
could see me inside
you would know this moat
is made entirely of my tears!
If only I
did drop the board across
If only you
did try to swim across
If only we
did not live on islands..

Sundance

2005-05-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

And then one day you find..
Ten years have gone behind you,
no one told you when to run,
You missed the starting Gun!
- Pink Floyd

Working weekends and crazy hours, makes me think ( in such moments of clarity ) as to where I wanna be and what is it I wanna be.
Am I missing something from the overall picture ?

Life is all about relationships, isnt it ?

Fancy last name for this biatch, I have been seeing for a while now.. "Sundance". I mean she is so needy, that black holes come to her for tips.
She loves, wants and needs my finger all over her. Constantly!, and I dont even have artistic fingers. They are short and chubby.
She wants hundred percent of my attention, to look into her eyes which are too bright for her, I think. Somehow doesnt even go with the figure she has.
Her favorite color is beige, and she is a classy insomniac. In fact, she goes without sleep for almost a month, until one day, she just gives up and breaksdown. But recovery is quite fast and she starts her needy attitude with a vengeance all over again.
Sigh. And I am stuck in the vortex , being pulled in with satisfying her every need. It almost gives me a high when I do it. I guess, you start deriving happiness from the small noises she makes when she is satiated. You know she is thinking hard, when she starts to hum and its not even a tune.

Somebody help me turn my goddamn computer off!! I hate the hum, I am getting CTS from the keyboard and the beige boxes looks ugly and the bright monitor is hurting my eyes!
Sundance, my ass!

Ole'NHBTalk

2005-05-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

You might have all the Trump cards, but you might not even be playing the correct game.

Trumpet!

2005-05-06T14:27:00.000-07:00

Thats me in the blue Cap ( #114 )
So I ran a 5k last Sunday at a time of 28'49".
(this is where u all applaud .. Thank you Thank you *Deep bow*)
I was placed 16th in a field of 92 and 42 overall ( out of 190 )

Feeeeelllling Gooooooooooooood!

Ole'NHBTalk

2005-05-03T19:21:00.000-07:00

Everybody does mistakes. The happier ones realise it and forgive themselves too.

Work ..

2005-04-29T15:26:00.000-07:00

Work is worship ? Hmmm.. if so .. I should have attained Nirvana , immortality and all those thingsa while back.
Until the heat subsides .. I am going to be irregular in my updating this page.
Sorry for the break!

I think...

2005-04-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

Metaphysically speaking .. I am a nomad.

Crack!

2005-04-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

Some people spend a whole life unhurried and oblivious, immersed in their day to day activities and problems, trying to find solutions.
But its not because of their position in society or their monetary status.
Beggars have been philosophers and kings have been fools.
Its due to a person's inherent ability or a lack of it to think beyond the self and self's needs and wants.
Vision is the word I am looking for. Vision to change the world. In one's own way.
The "small thinker" sustains the world and the "big thinker" expands the scope of it.
One is not sustainable without the other.

I think I fell between the crack and broke the mould.
Which type of thinker are you ?

Dead Dreams

2005-04-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dreams! compromised.
Hopes! trampled on.
Life! is just a prelude to
Death , the interlude.

I hope the dead dont dream.

Ole'NHBTalk

2005-04-21T10:18:00.000-07:00

There is always enough in this world to feel good about onself.

Sweet!

2005-04-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

Its my Mom's Birthday today. 20th of April.
My Dad got up early in the morning and made Badam Kheer for her!
Now if that aint love, I dunno what is.

Happy Birthday Amma.

Mind's I

2005-04-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

Do I really want to know whats on your mind ? Exactly.
Dont I want it sugar coated and delivered like a bad tasting quinine pill ?
"I" thinks , I do.
Is it about the "what" or the "how" ?
Is it about the content or is it the delivery ?

Mind's I.
Some call it Ego, some call it Id.
most want to get rid of it.
most cant live with it, without it.
Everybody is defined by it.
Most want to ignore it,
Everybody searches for it.

I, my friends,
feel it, cuddle it, nurse it.
I am possesive of it.
Dont touch my I.
I keep it in my sanctum,
surounded by stone walls.
in an unopened casket.
Holding back.

Its about the "How" ,
Its not the "What".
"I" thinks!

Iniya Putthandu Vazhthukkal

2005-04-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

Parthiba varudam anaivarukkum nalam kodukkavum

valam perugavum, Irai Arulai Vendugiren!

Nandri.
Bring on the Manga pacchadi, Kesari,
Morkozhambu, Rasam and Vadaii!!
Thats what I had for lunch today
Yoohooo!!
Happy Tamil New Year's day!

Rot

2005-04-10T20:33:00.000-07:00

Rot sets in
Like the fresh early morning fog
of a brooding monday.
Like a serial killer looking for fresh prey,
after a sizzling hot shower of
warm uncoagulating red blood.

Rot! Dangerously prowling with cold
icy fingers of poisonous mist
deadening once natural responses
as it spreads, freezing every thought
every action and every intent.

Rot! Maggots eating away the innards
and the cancerous canopy of apathy
easing the self into bliss, darkness.
Constant like Change.
Rot!

Thronology

2005-04-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

Thinking insipid thoughts on a vacuous morning is not my idea of a friday. Damn! Its Friday already. I would say this has been a productive week. I even got my teeth cleaned yesterday. I felt like a gift horse in that chair, only thing was that they wre trying to sell ME things I did not need.
A small conversation with my dentist yesterday.
I: "I have not been flossing at all the past 6 months".
Dentist: "Aha! you are confessing".
I: "Maybe you need to change these "couches" !"
.
He insisted that I wear braces to corect the small overlap I have on my front two teeth. He claimed to be a perfectionist and insisted that $3000 was the only thing between me and perfection. I am not into cosmetic surgery ( for myself, that is! I have nothing against silicone implants) believe me and I think the overlap teeth add character to my smile, but NO! This guy insisted that I needed to remove that and become perfect. Dentist the Menace!
He went on and on about how he has moved into this predominantly Indian neighborhood and everyone was either Indian or Chinese out there. Yeah, seriously, sometimes you walk in there and depending on the people you pass by, it feels like Shanghai or Chennai. They have a massive Gurudwara built on a hilltop there which is supposed to be spectacular.
Holi came and went in a riot of colors. I had a good time then. Looking forward to the Tamil New Year's day.
After an insipid couple of days at work, finally I had a breakthrough yesterday and I feel like I am hurtling downhill with the momentum of an elephant. Got to seize it and go with it. Not much time left.
So I am wearing this yellow bracelet that says "liveSTRONG". Its for a cancer research foundation set up by Lance Armstrong. This yellow bracelet seems ubiquitous these days, but i like wearing it. Everytime I tak a cigarette to my lips, it reminds me of cancer. It feels better than reading the labels on the pack. Fear never made anybody give up anything! I think they should switch the death threats on those cigarette packs to some TLC.

Ok time to get off my throne and walk this world now.

I think..

2005-04-04T14:52:00.000-07:00

That the difference between video and audio is ...
the audio grows on you if you listen to it long enough, but the video is based on an instantaneous frame of mind.
So once you like a song, u can not unlike it, but once u like a movie, there is always a frame of mind when there is a distinct possibility of hating it.
Is it that we see, more than we listen ?
On the other hand, words dont hurt as much when u cant hear the tone.

Did you see the movie "The village"?
The blind girl has been so brilliantly portrayed. Her other senses, so acutely developed.
She didnt seem to miss her vision so much !
Maybe she can feel her nipple brushing against her muslin fabric a little bit more on those blustery windy mornings.
Or the touch of a rough hand on her pale face.

Maybe she can hear the ants walking.
or the wail of a cow being butchered far away.

Blessed are they that cant hear or see.
Away from life's misery.

A new Dawn .. a New day!

2005-04-01T10:19:00.000-08:00

It has been a great year and 3 months of Blogging.
I made lotsa friends, no enemies and I am so ready to move on.
Those who have my contacts, can keep in touch.
Others.. Tough luck.

Ciao! and Have fun wherever you are.

AND APRIL FOOL TO Y'ALL SUCKERS!!! I AM NOT
REPEAT NOT! GOING AWAY SO EASILY :D

I dont see the point!

2005-03-31T10:31:00.000-08:00

Doodling pen, leaden fingers
Mind in vacuum, idea triggers
Why ?

I dont feel like sharing. I wanna keep it with me, stashed away in the corner of my fucking heart. Keep dumping shit in there until it explodes and just washes the rest of my organs with cold blood.

I dont feel like sharing. I wanna keep it with me, stashed away in the numerous lines zig-zagging across my brain. Keep dumping shit in there until it explodes with electro-encephalitis and washes the rest of my organs with cold hard facts!

I DONT! SO FUCK OFF!

Pointless..

2005-03-25T17:59:00.000-08:00

I just had food.
I am contented.
All these poetry and prose .. they all seem so pointless now.
There is a lesson to be learnt here.

Until I am hungry again!

Soulmate ?

2005-03-24T10:04:00.000-08:00

One soul entered
never left.
She walked.

'Quake.

2005-03-22T13:06:00.000-08:00

Gently undulating crimson liquid,
held by long fingers, languid
As I place my cold hands on her bare back,
she is shaken, not stirred.

Mascaraed eyelashes whip me
As they flutter in soulful symphony
Lips quake and tremble
the words tumble
I know not from,
Intoxication or Infatuation.

I hang onto her every word,
Unspoken, I am enamored
Like the torquoise teardrops
gently swinging from her ears
I flop about and meander.

I see unseen ( or so I think),
her bosoms thro her martini glass
heaving undulating
her sighs, my gasps.

Our eyes lock in passionate desire
fanned by a warm fire
pulse racing, tsunami waves
I surrender, to my hearts 'Quake.

Today I learnt ....

2005-03-21T11:05:00.000-08:00

That I dont listen to myself enough...

Of Boards, Butts and Bruises - II

2005-03-19T10:01:00.000-08:00

We arrived at the resort at 11 AM and the experts and the newbies went towards their respective ski-lifts. There were those who were skiing down double black diamond slopes ( yeah.. google and find out for those who dont know ) and then there were those who were skiing down that same slopes , with beer in their hands!!
INSANE in the membrane!!!
INSANE in the brain!
Really, it was BigG going down the hillside, really proving Newton's laws of Momentum!! Almost 35 to 40 miles an hour downhill on double black with a can of beer ??? Lets just say he is fond of his drink and move on shall we ?

My group snowboarding class was a little distance away from this insanity. Kids from the ages of 3 to 40 were there lined up for their lessons.
I rented my snowboarding equipment and went to the lessons area. The temperature suddenly dropped, the sun behind the clouds and my extremities were freezing. It didnt take long to get the blood flowing though, boy! Casey, my instructor, the slave driver and really cute boarder-chick was shouting at me .. yelling at me .. to get to the Toe edge and the heel edge. and stand up and let go .. but no!!! My butt had other plans .. it took to the snow like fish to the water. It wouldnt get up from the snow at all! It was like I was fighting too many things! And when I did manage to take it a few feet into the air. it took me down so hard that I bruised badly! My snow magnet was in full form. It did not help either that the snowshoes that I had on were a size bigger than necessary. Hence, the my heel kept lifting but the snoboard did not, which was manna for the snow-magnet.
I wanted to try snowboarding once, I did it, and Thats that!
And I got the bruises on my Butt to show for it.
Bruise Color of the day: Purple.

Of Boards, Butss and Bruises - I

2005-03-17T13:43:00.000-08:00

Ever looked at those snowboarders, whistling past you at 30 to 40 miles an hour downhill and jumping off ramps and such .. twirling fearlessly in the air and landing right back on their feet and smoothly coming to a stop at the bottom of the slopes ? I have, as I made my way down on my sissy skis .. mind you this was just the blue slopes ( little better than the bunnys and the greens of course! ) and I wasnt doing a bad speed downhill either .. but it seemed so much fun.

Fast forward two years and a meaner, leaner and stronger version of me was ready to take on the snowboarders starting with lessons. A great oppurtunity presented itself as the whole company went for a ski trip yesterday. I had decided to go where the skiers ( angels ) feared to tread. I was gonna get myself some snowboarding lessons and fly downhill .. after all I did know a little bit of skiing and how different could it be ? This kinda rhetoric is what gives me a false sense of security and hope but I am getting way outta the chronology here.

5:45 AM , I was at the company parking lot and got into the chartered bus. Mild chatter and sleepy laughter filled the bus as it proceeded to pick up speed and at around 6:15 BigG whips out a 1.5 litre bottle of vodka and some pineapple/banana/orange juice. and a bunch of styrofoam cups. Breakfast is ready!!! BigG was graciously mixing us drinks and an hour into the journey a few of us were comfortably numb ( what the fuck was that whizzing past the window?? a cow? ) and the smile stretched from ear to ear.

I think I dozed off while enjoying the splendid view outta the bus windows and was rudely woken up by cries of SNOW! The destination was a short distance away now. A beautiful sunny day, deep white powder,exhilarating views of the mountains and the valleys, freezing temperature and the allure of the new.

(Continued..)