Thursday, January 13, 2005

An ode to diarrhea

Note: Mothers and Fathers : Please be advised that the following post is not consummable by children below the age of 17. It would be like swallowing a chewing gum. Dont say, I didnt warn ya!

Why Does my bottle of orange juice always hit the expiry date before I even open it ?
Its fucking 13th of January!!! 13 days into the new year and what have y'all have to show for it except broken resolutions ?
I am so weak - I even broke the resolution not to make any more resolutions and I broke that one too.
I mean , y'all are forgiven for you were frickin drunk at midnight on new year's eve when all these resolutions came to you. I dont even have that excuse.

There is loosies in the air .. I mean not literally, that would be a mess. Yuck! But a lot of people are getting it. Blame this one on the fucking rain too ?? Yeah! Baby!
I thought fruits were good for health and I ate a pear and had the loosies. So, stop eating fruits and get with the program. yeah! fries with that too, please. Thank you. And thus I get to "work" from home today.

About those Radio Jockeys who really really bad-mouthed a call center employee from India, they are gone. It was pathetic. Now, that job of the RJs are outsourced too. Thats right. There are gonna be Radio Jockeys pimpin around with stange accents going "wassup y'all" and playing songs from the latest hindi movies. Thats just Pimpin!

So I saw this porn video a few days back, where the guy was wearing a cap on his head and no condom. Isnt that weird ?

Anddddd yes! my furniture is on a buh-bye tomorrow. My apartment is gonna be naked. I alone shall decide what is gonna take its place. Definitely a La-z-boy comes to mind, complete with a beer can holder, microwave oven, refrigerator, remote control holder and a potty. I am still searching for the one with the inflatable woman and when I find it, yowza, I am all set. Yup! one stop shop.

See what all comes to mind when you have the loosies ??? God forbid!


Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Rockbottom .. really ?

Just when you think you have hit rock bottom, the earth decides to create fucking more space for you. The bottom of the sea splits showing you the way and you get a frickin guided tour to the latest "rockbottom" , courtesy of the friendly Tsunami.

So the next time you think there is only one way to go and you have hit rockbottom... Think fuckin' again!

Cheers, y'all! and do definitely drink some Johnny Walker blue Label before you die. Its worth it!

I forgot to mention skydiving, scuba diving with the great whites .. I think they can show you the way too, eat some bittergourd and relish it.

P.S:
The above does not reflect my state of mind.

Mogambo .. Khush hua!

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Happy Birthday to me .. Happy birthday to me ..

Blow out the candles and bring out the cake,
another year is here, to pass you by
and leave you in its wake.

I complete one more year on this earth (on the 10th) , affectionately called mother when the fruits of man's labour are rewarded and cursed and spat at when she decides to yawn, stretch or wince when the plough decides to dig into her.
Cataclysm we scream, forgetting we are all guests and our visit will end when we outlive our welcome.

Mortality check, my friends, has rung my bell this year as I see things that I had assumed as permanent disappearing into ether. An ephemeral quality surrounds this world now. Nay, its just not my mood, as the events of the past few weeks have unfolded and thrust this into our faces. Experience, makes a man wiser and aware of himself and his limitations.
This year , as another anniversary of my existence announces its presence, as I take another step on this ladder where the next step is always invisible to me, I feel I have been given a second chance, to redeem my life's worth. This is an invitation to get back on the path that was laid out to me, to eschew bitterness and embrace myself. There is a teasing, tantalising glimpse of my goals, well hidden behind clouds of self-doubt.

Ever feel like you have nothing to prove to this world ? Ever feel like the only person you need to answer to is urself ? I know I am at a threshold in my life and the path I chose now is the path I am going to be on for the rest of it.
I have lived by one motto in my life that has always worked for me -- "Everything that happens, Happens for the good". Positivity, stoicism, self-preservation, fatality, excuse, reason, superficiality, depth, and that teflon-like feeling where nothing can stick is all built in to it.

As I quietly slip another year of my existence into my personal history box, I would like to make a wish.

I wish that time could see me pass by.